Romance

How guys can score points (or lose them) from their girls, if you manage to secure a score of -200 inside of a week then you will most likely end up dumped!

Simple Duties

• You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings: +5
• But return with beer: -5
• You check out a suspicious noise at night: 0
• You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing: 0
• You check out a suspicious noise and it's something: +5
• You pummel it with a six iron: +10 It's her father: -10

Social Engagements

• You stay by her side the entire party: 0
• You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy: -2
• Named Tiffany: -4
• Tiffany is a dancer: -6
• Tiffany has implants: -8

Saturday Afternoons

• You visit her parents: +1
• You visit her parents and actually make conversation: +3
• You visit her parents and stare vacantly at the television: -3
• And the television is off: -6
• You spend the afternoon watching college football in your underwear: -6
• And you didn't even go to college: -10
• And it's not really your underwear: -15

Her Birthday

• You take her out to dinner: 0
• You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar: +1
• Okay, it is a sports bar: -2
• And it's all-you-can-eat night: -3
• It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team: -10
• You give her a gift: 0
• You give her a gift, and it's a small appliance: -10
• You give her a gift, and it's not a small appliance: +1
• You give her a gift, and it isn't chocolate: +2
• You give her a gift that you'll be paying off for months: +30
• You wait until the last minute and buy her a gift that day: -10
• With her credit card: -30
• And whatever you bought is two sizes too big: -40

Thoughtfulness

• You forget to pick her up at the bus station: -25
• Which is 20 miles away: -35
• And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast: -50

A Night Out with Your Pals

• You have a few beers: -9, for every beer after three, -2 again
• And miss curfew by an hour: -12
• You get home at 3 a.m.: -20
• You get home at 3 a.m. smelling of booze and cheap cigars: -30
• And not wearing any pants: -40
• Is that a tattoo?: -200

A Night Out, Just The Two of You

• You go see a comic: +2
• He's crude and sexist: -2
• You laugh: -5
• You laugh too much: -10
• She's not laughing: -15
• You laugh harder: -25

Driving

• You lose the directions on a trip: -4
• You lose the directions and end up getting lost: -10
• You end up getting lost in a bad part of town: -15
• You get lost in a bad part of town & meet the locals up close & personal: -25
• She finds out you lied about having a black belt: -60

Communication

• When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression: 0
• When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes: +5
• You listen for more than 30 minutes , without looking at the television or picking up a newspaper: +10
• She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep: -10