Alcohol

• WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.
• WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.
• WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in.
• WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
• WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.
• WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
• WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened to your pants anyway.
• WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember)
• WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy nicknamed Psycho.
• WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause people in clubs to appear better looking than they actually are.