Ethel

Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loves to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman is a sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerate her, and some actually joined in!

One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and a resident stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!" he said in a firm voice. "Have you got a licence for that thing?". Ethel fished around in her handbag on her lap and pulled out a Kit-Kat wrapper which she held up to him. "OK" he said and she went on her way.

After taking the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, another man stepped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got a valid tax disc for your vehicle, Madam?". Ethel dug into her handbag again and pulled out a beer-mat which she held up to him and he allowed her to carry on.

Going down the final corridor before the front door, a third resident stepped out in front of her. This one was stark naked and was holding a sizable erection in his hand... "Oh no", said Ethel, " not the breathalyser again!"