A Soldier

A soldier receives a letter from his girlfriend, but he could not show it to his friends because she signed it mother and this is what she wrote...

M is for the Many times we did it
O is for the Other times we tried
T is for the Terrific times we had
H is for the Hotel that we went to
E is for the Easy way we took
R is for the Rhythm that we had

This spells MOTHER and that is what I am going to be in nine months...

He wrote back and this is what he said...

F is for the Fucked up letter u sent me
A is for the Ass that you are
T is for the Trouble that you are in
H is for the Hussy you really are
E is for the Easy way you give it up
R is for the Romance we never had

And I'll be dammed if I am the FATHER and this is what I think of the BABY...

B is for the Baby with no name
A is for the Abortion that you better get
B is for the Bastard he or she will be
Y is for the Yes, when You should have said No

She realized that she forgot a couple of things in the first letter so she writes the dickless fagot back and this is what she said...

B is for the Beef that you had with me
E is for the Eating you did
S is for the pussy you Sucked
T is for all the Times I got you hard

F is for the Funny made dick you have
R is for the Rash on your ass
I is for the Intercourse that was boring
E is for the Energy for you to come
N is for the Nasty ass dog you are
D is for the Daddy that you are going to be!

And that spells BEST FRIEND and that was who I was fucking while you were away.